Lucky me, marking your work. I have a general comment to make regarding thesis statements:

DO NOT REPEAT VERBATIM the wording of the question. In fact, during the exam you can probably leave out the thesis statement, as you probably don’t have time to formulate one.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

Question: “What are differences between egoism and hedonism?”

GOOD THESIS STATEMENT: In this essay, I will argue that apart from the obvious difference in that egoism focuses on desires in general while hedonism focuses more narrowly on pleasure, the most important difference is that hedonism purports to be more objective than egoism.

BAD THESIS STATEMENT: In this essay, I will outline the differences between egoism and hedonism.

Such a pointless repetition of the question makes the examiner wonder if you have anything interesting to say. As I said, you can omit this during exams.